Time to appreciate

I used to think I was safe, safe from all the pain, hurt, illness, death and dissapointment in the world.

As time flew by everything started moving closer to me, death was all around me, through friends, some of them even youger than me, people died of diseases that they only heard about a month before the end, people that seemed in perfect health, and I couldn't help but think I was so lucky to have my health.

I wonder if I am too lucky? No matter what ... I still am greatfull for what I have, feel and smile about.

The moment I realised I was so lucky was this morning. A woman came into my office, she seemed devastated, heart-broken and lost in her tears.

I asked her to come in and have a seat. She was humble and could hardly walk from the pain in her soul . The firm I work with has a patronage contract for people in need of financial support. So she came here for help ... I thought she was part of some corporation that specializes in getting money from kind-hearted suckers, 'cause I'm used to that kind of shit, especially when I'm assaulted everyday by people who just happen to be building a church near by . I looked at her and asked her what was wrong ... she burst in tears and told me that she had H.I.V and that her daughter had a stroke, I watched her tears and my heart started melting, she said that she needed to disconnect her daughter from the machines at the hospital and take her home ... the operation was about 25 lei's worth, she only had 5 ...

I looked in my wallet ... 30 lei. She stared towards the floor and her tears wet her clothes harder than rain . I gave her 20 and apologized that it was all I could do for her ... she felt ashamed and wiped her tears off ... she thanked me and walked away slowly.

I sat down on my chair thinking about those tears on and on . I felt her pain and at the same time I was ashamed for felling happy, happy that I'm so lucky not to be in a situation as hers.

I looked at my life and realised how wonderfull it is, I promised I would try to keep it this way as much as I can .

Maybe she smiled thinking that she suckered another one today, maybe she was a good actress, good enough to fool me ... but as long as she made me appreciate my life more, it wasn't in vain.